I've been meditating a lot lately. Trying to figure out what type of person I want to be, what I want to contribute to the world. I'm scared to sink deeply into my ambitions. That I won't be able to help everyone. That if I do what's best for me, I'll forgo the opportunity to do what's best for the world.
I found myself in a dark and scary place. I knew nobody, and strange men were walking the streets with baseball bats, attacking anyone who crossed their paths. I watched them from the other side of the street. The fear was overwhelming, the type of fear reserved specifically for threats to your very being. I recognized this fear, but why?
I was dreaming.
I needed to get past -- there was no other way. I walked towards one of the men. As he raised his bat to swing at me, I stood face to face with him. I told him I was going to wake up, and pushed past him. I had my eye on a dark house in the distance, where I might be able to escape the fear and distractions and focus on waking up. To my surprise, the man was following me, but he had dropped his bat. He didn't want to attack; he, too, wanted to escape.
More and more men started to emerge and follow me. Their faces were unfamiliar to me now, showing a sadness, a submission, rather than the angry, fierce faces that I'd come to know. They were fighting because they were afraid of everyone else. They had never thought of waking up.
I sat down on the floor of the old house and closed my eyes. I could hear the horde of men meekly shuffling in and surrounding me. A new energy was buzzing -- the potential for a new life. The chance to wake up.
I started to focus. As I felt my consciousness starting to shift back into this world, a part of me resisted for a moment. What if they aren't able to wake up? Is it wrong to leave them behind? I made the choice to continue waking up, trusting my own influence. Because I had been certain in my own path, these men were all in this room, together, trying to wake up. If I had tried to explain myself to them, or tried to help them before helping myself, this never might've happened. So I had to trust that they would make it, and take this journey alone. This was the only hope for not only saving myself, but saving us all.
I woke up in my own bed, to my beautiful life. And I hope they did too.